Sunday, March 3, 2019

34 Witty Responses to Give When Someone Doesn't Text Back (In 2019)

How to Respond to Someone Who Doesn't Text You Back (In 2019)

(Scroll Down for Samples of What to Text Back)

Every now and then, I like to go a little bit off topic... especially when I get a good idea or two that I think will help others.

When someone doesn't text back for hours, and even days, it can be very disconcerting. The reason they don't text back may be something as simple as the person was busy, their phone died, or they got caught up at work, and they eventually get back to you; but other times, especially in the dating world, they never text back.... Regardless of the reason they don't respond, it drives everyone absolutely mad! I don't care who you are or how cool you think you are. When someone disappears without notice or reasoning, it WILL drive you crazy.

Unfortunately, "Ghosting" is a thing now. People do it with no feelings of guilt and no form of accountability for their actions... or lack thereof. It's cruel, selfish, and downright disrespectful. People can usually dish it out, but they can't take it back.

Whatever happened to having enough balls and facing a person to assert your feelings... It's seriously not that damn difficult... and it's much more respectable than running off and hiding... (shaking my head in disappointment).

Ghosting is typically a cowardly move that someone does when they are too much of a Pu$$y to face you directly and tell you the truth of whatever is going on. They typically don't want to deal with your reaction... Therefore they Ghost... Pathetic, isn't it?

I call it the "Nestea Plunge"...

Everytime I see this, I laugh, thinking about how asinine and jerkish people can be.

It's as if they're frolicking around, going about their lives, just doing whatever is fun, without a care in the world and no regard for someone else's feelings, while leaving you in a mental cycle of confusion and upset, unable to figure out why they have just so abruptly and cruelly cut you off....

What a cowardly jerk! Just be glad the Trash took itself out, and say, "Goodbye to Bad Rubbish"! They aren't worthy of another thought!

But if you just can't help yourself... and you simply must call them out on their blatant disregard for others, here's 34 witty, new, and original responses I came up with, that you can use when someone doesn't text back...



1.  "Hey, how's it going"
      (No Response)

"I'm going to assume that you're having such a great time that your phone got crushed when you jumped on it from the excitement.... and that's why you haven't responded."

2.  "I guess a ghost abducted you and turned you into one."

"I see... a vulcher swooped down and snatched your phone out of your hand."

4. "Great conversation."

5.  "OMG! Should I call 911?..."


      "I just figured I would call them for you since you're too incapacitated to use your phone."

6.  "So, You got kidnapped by Pirates they are currently making you walk the plank with your hands tied and a blindfold .. and that's why you aren't texting back?"

7.   "Haven't had a conversation this great in a long time!"

8.   "Best conversation EVERRRRR!"

9.   "My, you have the most interesting responses!"

10.  "So, you're so excited to hear from me that you're at a loss for words? I know we've only known each other for 6 months.... Stop being so shy!"

11.  "In the time it has taken you to respond, teleporting will have been made possible."

12.  "For somebody who doesn't like when people magically disappear, your magic is better than David Copperfield's."

"So I'm guessing you spontaneously combusted into a jerk? Jerk!"

14.  "OMG! Really? Great conversation! No.... REALLY! I learned everything I need to know!"

15.  "Are you waiting for the return of the messiah before you respond?"

16.  "If you don't text me back, I'm going to put your phone number in for every get rich quick scam on the internet."

17.  "Let me guess... a gang banger held you at gunpoint and made you give him your phone, and that's why you didn't text back..."

18.  "So the FBI came in a big white van, then took you to the White House to speak with the president about Russian secrets, and that's why you haven't texted back?"

19.  "Does it always take you this long to text back? Or is this the special VIP treatment?" 

20.  "So, a pickpocket stole your phone, took off running... You chased after them and caught them, but then your phone fell down in the sewer?"

21.  "So your cat was playing with your phone and managed to set a new password and you haven't been able to unlock it since?"

 "So let me guess, you've been abducted by aliens, because no human takes this long to text someone back."  

23.  "So a meteor struck right next to you, and you survived, but your phone didn't?"

24.  "So you've been naughty this year, and santa claus realized that he gave your phone to the wrong person, so he took it back and gave it to someone else?"

25.  "Stop texting me so much! It's annoying as hell!"

26.  "If you don't text me back in the next five minutes, I will designate your number as the Complaints about President Trump hotline. You don't want those problems..."

27.  "So, let me guess... you can't respond because you're on a long call with the IRS and you're getting ready to pay them the thousands of $$ you owe in Bitcoin?"

 "For someone who doesn't like people that ghost, you sure seem to be a pro at it."

29.  "So you've decided to take forever to respond... Is this your way of trying to act cool and aloof? It's not working...😒"

30.  "My asshole cat responds quicker than you do."

"So, you were so excited that your hands were shaking, and you dropped your phone into the toilet?"

33. "Wow. I didn't realize you cared so much! Thanks for responding so quickly!"

34.  "So you ate a special brownie at a party and forgot how to send texts?"

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  1. That's 34 replies. Number 16 is my favorite. I have a daughter that usually takes hours or days to get back to me maybe I'll use number 16 on her.

  2. I so agree with you that this BS non-responsive garbage that people are trying... of course, we are paying attention, so no one will truly get away with it. [eye roll] You know what I say? Unless you are a surgeon or EMT, or pilot, or a critical employee... no one is THAT busy, and you may need a personal assistant!